Monday, December 12, 2011

Matter of Strategy: The utility man

I often forget who or what I have. My eyes can seriously so often only focus on one thing at once. No matter its a good thing or a bad thing that I have in my focus, it will always drag me away from everything else. And so often, I feel like so sorry for that... as I do not pay too much attention on who I should.

From all them, there is one guy that I always call my utility man, who I forget to thank for all he did just too often: Arno.

As he heard from my misery I have to go through, he called me and asked to visit me at last weekend. I denied and told him that he reminds me so much of the whole sad thing and that I really could not stand it... I was so mean! Anyways, I agreed to meet him today.

The time he went through the door, I gave him a hug, I suddenly felt like a big stone is falling from my chest and my whole body shivered while I started to cry like crazy. It never felt so right to cry... the whole weekend, I felt so lost, not knowing what to do, OK I went shopping and thought its fine, but the time I was alone in my room I was totally down again... I am seriously like nearly never crying in front of someone, but that time... my feeling overwhelmed my mind...

Arno did not talk much at first, he just stand there and let my emotion flow... I could not believe that it would actually happen this way, but now I understand that I should never be so careless about him as I was in the last few weeks ever again. I know him since 6 years, and equally to what I did, he always knew to support me, even he did sometimes really harshly disagree with what I was doing...

I don't know, we talked, and we began to plan how to spent the winter holidays... I told him, I had a really great idea what to do, if I still had a chance to change the matters that is bothering me to tears and sickness since last Friday - I would seriously have been doing it, but I realize that I lost, and I cannot change it. All I can hope is for a happy ending out of it though...

And as long as I am waiting for what the future will bring:

I have my utility man, the eldest wolf of my wolf pack... <3


  1. he sounds like a nice guy, we always need some nice friends like that, friends in need are friends indeed:-)

  2. Point noted, friends are those who we should treasure through thick or thin :)


  3. yeah, during the hard time I have, I really am really lucky to have at least one person still wanting to hang out with me and be my friend kekeke.... its hard time for me in germany right now....