Sunday, December 2, 2012

Matter of Strategy: Living Existentialism

As announced in my former posting about existentialism (Click here), I want to go further into the matter of Existentialism. I formerly said, that I would like to concentrate/focus on existential Buddhism. Even I will focus on Buddhism, I decided to bring in existential ideas of individuals from different beliefs and world views. Even there is some resistance in my veins to talk freely and openly about this kind of topic (as religion and politics seem to generally cause a lot of useless flame wars instead of constructive discussions), I think it is time to talk more about what I thought, what I felt, what I want to share with you since so long. Do not take it as an offense, do not take it as disrespect. It is just my current subjective view on the whole thing.

Your mind is filled, overloaded, tired. Everything is on your mind, you attach yourself and grab for everything reachable. When our minds fill with ideas, with expectations, with goals... we more and more drive ourselves into a stasis. Slowly we become a standing still pendulum.
"Don't get set into one form, adapt it and build your own, and let it grow, be like water. Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless - like water. [..] Be water, my friend." - Bruce Lee
Why do we have to attach ourselves so much on so many things. We suffocate ourselves while we stuff our mind full of expectations, dreams and goals. How do you know, as a human, what is good or bad for you? How do you know that good things are not going to come? Good things that would never have come when the bad things did not happen? Limited is our view on things. Let go and be in perpetual motion. A standstill is deadly and takes away space to breath and to think. Change is inevitable, so why should you become stone. A wall of stone can shatter into thousand peaces. If you are water, you always move, you change your forms and you flow through existence without fear, without suffering.

"Existentialism holds that there are no (or at least few) universal truths about human nature — the individual is what is important, and the individual is free to make his or her life in any way imaginable." - Colin Temple
Existentialism takes into consideration the underlying concepts:
  • Human free will
  • Human nature is chosen through life choices
  • A person is best when struggling against their individual nature, fighting for life
  • Decisions are not without stress and consequences
  • There are things that are not rational
  • Personal responsibility and discipline is crucial
  • Society is unnatural and its traditional religious and secular rules are arbitrary
  • Worldly desire is futile
What does it mean in other words? It means to live means to suffer, to have to go through a lot of problems and pains. It means you grow stronger through life and the way you grow lies in your own hands. This exactly fits to my former mentioned idea of being your own superhero (Click here). Everything in this world is giving to you. You can take it.
"The origin of suffering is attachment." - 2nd Noble Truth in Buddhism
Why do we let ourselves suffer? Because we are able to feel, we got emotions. We are emotionally, mentally, physically and monetary attached to a lot of things. People speak a lot about independence, individual freedom... the fact is, we are never free as long as we live. We have to accept the pain, it is inevitable. Still, we should not into melancholia or become negative human beings.

"Life brought me so I came; Death takes me so I go.
I came not willfully; nor willfully I go."
- Sheikh Muhammad Ibrahim Zauq
Life is a beautiful thing. It can be so beautiful and easy, if you just live... Too often we run from event to event, expectation to expectation, need to need. Give your mind a break, empty it... open your eyes. Look upon the beauty of heaven. Look on the beauty of earth. It is all given to you, and still you do pay so little attention to it because life is making you too busy to live. Isn't that sad?
“Buddhism holds that everything is in constant flux. Thus the question is whether we are to accept change passively and be swept away by it or whether we are to take the lead and create positive changes on our own initiative. While conservatism and self-protection might be likened to winter, night, and death, the spirit of pioneering and attempting to realize ideals evokes images of spring, morning, and birth.” Daisaku Ikeda
Flow through life... See the beauty given to you every morning... that seems fantastic. What more can you await from life otherwise? Stay calm, be productive.... produce positive changes in your life... don't be too attached with anything. Love what stays with you voluntary, not caused by force... do you really have to force things to stay with you?

As I said, we never know the cause of things. Don't be calm like a stone, wild as fire, thin as air... be like water and your life belongs to you. It was not your choice to be on earth and it is not your choice to live.

And remember... does something you force to stay really belong to you?

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Matter of Strategy: The power of speech

People tend to say "words are cheap", because no matter what you say, action have to follow. Everybody would agree to that. Nevertheless, that sentence is kind of overdosed and overused in my opinion. There are many factors to think about when it is about words. Words are powerful, they can make a valuable difference at the right time. So, I think we should always know that "words are cheap" does not mean "words are powerless/meaningless".

"Handle them carefully, for words have more power than atom bombs." -Pearl Strachan
Promised were made, allies and foes separated, wars were won and revolutions were started... all by the force and power of words, by a single man or by the masses. Don't we see by all this examples that talking an speaking up is very important till today? Too often we just sit back, saying "We can't change a thing" and hope for that something or someone else does what we were wishing for. While we are resting in lethargy, time moves on and nothing starts to happen.... but still we think it is not our responsibility or our  task to use our mouth, to break the seal of silence.
"Silence is safer than speech." -Epictetus
When you remember one of my last writings (Read here), you remember that fear is one of our strongest engines we are driven by. Our main objective seems to be to judge and to observe. Difficult it seems to be to go out of that passive state and actively do something for your own good or for the good of others. We fear the result? But think more clearly, what is more fearsome? The state of total overwhelming suppression, being pushed around by the mercy of God, time, destiny or whatever entity matters for you? Or the state of trying, of speaking up, of being an example of a free man, even disappointment is most likely to come along?
"When you have spoken the word, it reigns over you. When it is unspoken you reign over it." -Arabian Proverb
Yes, the choice is not easy. One choice is leading to accepting only involuntary change, welcoming the comfortable dazing feeling of being helpless, powerless, changeless... of just taking and doing what the world offers to you. Your mind is slowly getting numb... and maybe you even like it that way, somehow. It feels like a sweet and very comforting paralysis.... drowning yourself in self-pity about a world that you have given in to.
Why does it seems so easy and charming to stay silent? Cause the other choice would be to say yes to the possibility to be excluded and avoided, to be looked at by society as an alienated being... even you are on the right sight in all points, most members of society might likeable just stick together against... fearing that disappointment, it is so easy to better do not speak up for any. Maybe you are heard and move the hearts of someone or many, or maybe you loose your reputation, your position or a lot more than just that.

"Speech and silence. We feel safer with a madman who talks than with one who cannot open his mouth." -Emile M. Cioran
When you look more clear, a lot of people that say a lot of "stupid" things, are heard and listened to. And just because nobody clearly speaks up against them or seems to consequentially seems to want to make a change against it, that people slowly indoctrinate more and more individuals by their ideas, trying to move them on their side, abusing them for their use. Why does it seem so hard the other way around?
In my point of view, a lot of nowadays people that publicly speak up for something are either bringing up really crazy arguments, topics or ideas or bringing up no point at all.
That the first kind of people ordinary seem to be really fanatic seem to be clear and out of question, society looks at them sceptical but slowly and step by step they get more and more fans and followers. How about the other kinds?

"The flood of careless, unconsidered, cheap words is the greatest enemy of the profound word." -Stephen L. Talbott
In my point of view, the other kind is also really fanatic as well. Really fanatic in being "politically correct": If you want to make a point, or statement, you ordinary have to consider a position that will make you stand against a group or majority. That is a totally normal thing, and in my point of view the idea of always going straight in the middle, neither right or left, is meant to totally fail. It is no better than the kind of people that never talk, and they are even more annoying. You spent a lot of time listening to them, filtering what they might have said... and see the non existent content. Why is it like that, you might ask?

"Man does not live by words alone, despite the fact that sometimes he has to eat them."-- Adlai Stevenson
And you have to digest what you said sometimes for a really long time... did you see the politicians nowadays? Like predators they look at each other, waiting for one opening his mouth, but instead of eating what they might say, they tear the words apart, making everything that was "politically incorrect" a bad thing... till that politician retires. The game goes on and on and on... it seems to be the only kind of matter for politicians nowadays.
I think in every kind of society, it is that way nowadays. Say something wrong and you are out, but it is nowhere that harsh and that dangerous to open your mouth than in politics.

"It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them."
- Mark Twain
Everyone in the end can decide by himself what he want to do with his right to speak. Not all countries support the power of freedom of speech so far, as words are still really powerful, even we denunciate them as "cheap" too often nowadays. So when you are able to give your opinion, always consider carefully what you are going to say and how you are going to use your words. Silence is not always the correct answer to everything, even it is much easier.

"The superior man is modest in his speech, but exceeds in his actions." -Confucius
"Speech is human, silence is divine, yet also brutish and dead: therefore we must learn both arts." - Thomas Carlyle
"Silence remains, inescapably, a form of speech." -Susan Sontag

What does that three quotes tell us? If you talk to much and do nothing, you will be unheard. Silence talks in his own way. Silence or speech is both a kind of action, which we have to carefully consider and choose from. As in everything, there is not always the correct solution.

What will you do if you had something to say?

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Never-ending Story: Hero in disguise

"You don't have to be a superhero to be a superhero" - Anonymous

Get on your horse, young hero, as you are chosen! Saddle your warhorse, put on your plate, fit your helmet on your shoulders and arm yourself with your sword and lance. You are the master of your own destiny, the knight in shiny plate that all have been waiting for! You belong to the chosen few! Millions stare on your ultimate and mighty presence in awe!
Everyone can be an hero. Don't just sit and wait for your hero to come, the only way to make an idea raise is through actions!

A lot of problems are standing in everybody's way, to sit and wait for your own problems to vanish won't give you anything. Also the only hero you really can depend on is yourself.... and: it's true, you can also be the heroes for others when you are strong enough. Most people do just sit and wait for someone might help that pity person, only a few dare to do something sincere.

"You know, with your ability, you can get anything you want. Created your own morality; there's not a person in the world that could say no to you. Now there is." - Noah Bennet
So often we wish to have super powers, being ultimately strong, making time stop, being not able to get hurt, to die, to become old... But I tell you, you do not need all this things... did you think further? If you really could do all this things, your life would even become more complicated! If you followed the series "Heroes", you will realize, the only stable character in the whole series seems to be Mr Bennet. He is just a normal human, and he is the symbol of the strength that lays in every single person. Through willpower, organisation and knowing how to solve a problem, he really is the only masterful person of all in there. In the middle of a group of heroes who all seem to be more or less unstable, out of control, bored or greedy...

You can be like him, take him as your inspiration. You can master your own life, can create a lot by yourself... all capabilities are given by your birth, you are chosen to do something. Don't waste your life in waiting for something to change by yourself, you are the one who can really make and mean a change in the end.
"I think you just have to appreciate who you are and hopefully they can see what a superhero is about." - Lucy Liu
In the end and after all, you have to focus on yourself before you can focus on the rest of the world. Listen to your heart, know your strengths and weaknesses. You are chosen to overcome all your doubts and limits. Do not take the situation you were born in as a blockade, do not think you will fail. There is no time for fear and doubts, there is only time to master yourself.

In the end people will look on you, see your inner confidence, your willpower and all-mightiness. Every human himself can be the superhero he always been waiting for. If you came that far, you will surely also become an hero for others.

You are the hero in disguise....

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Dark Mystery: The dream world within you

"In the beginning, the dream world within you was there. I was with the you. In the beginning, you were an angel. The dream world within you was real. The false world wasn't here." - The Malkavian Bible, Book I: In the beginning

Imagine and remember: You were young, the world was not so hard to understand. Do you remember how others taught you how the world has to be like? What borders and responsibilities exist? Did you fight the capabilities given with you into your cradle or did you fight against them? Have you ever wanted more or have you even realized that you probably are capable of more than the physical world actually can explain? Do you remember the time where there was only the true self of yours? 
Acknowledged sculptors forge you into chains, they create the frame that actually should be responsible to make the world run, make the world work so perfectly. Blinded by the masses, we do not see through the curtain, loosing our own ideas, forgetting what our true shape once has been like.   
Day by day we go to bed, starting to dream... starting to dream of what we could have become if not... not seeing we can be so more. Our minds are overloaded with the noise of our daily environment, we don't dare to dream. Each night we just keep our mind occupied about tomorrow, the day after tomorrow and the day after and after... we do not rest, we do not release....
"You rest each night uneasy. Yes, you are weary. You struggle daily. It will not end, you know. Not until you acknowledge what you are.You walk as a mortal, taking no advantage from your heritage, from your talents within. So many things of flesh are greater than you.Walk among them, these beasts that are less than you are. See their strength; see how easily you fall to their muscle and skill. Why do you stand for this?" - Joneleth Irenicus  
Yes, why do you stand for this? Did you not see who you are? Do you have to obey to the rules and chains given to, forged around you while you grew up? In all these days, did you use your own head or did you follow the rulers? It all seems so settled, you think it is destiny... but isn't forging yourself into a pattern like destiny just an excusable way to give up? Is it the fear of following yourself and your own dreams that keeps you chained to something that you were born into? Did you become what you once feared by not realizing?
"It's easier to see when I open my eyes that all the bad things, that all the bad things are in my mind... but I'm just a simple man, I'm just a simple man" - The God Machine: The Tremelo song, One Last Laugh In A Place Of Dying(1994)

We all think that our eyes are opened, we notice all the single things that happen around us. Unfortunately most of what we realize is stored into our brain unused, unknown. Too busy to be part of a world that does not even declares to ourselves as real or unreal, we forgot from the beginning that we never knew what reality really is. We tolerate the status we are born in, accepting the conditioning given to sculpt us, welcome everything that is given to us by the hands of a society that is all raised up the same way. We do not know a single thing and still believe we are the king of everything.  
“I am a camera with its shutter open, quite passive, recording, not thinking." - Christopher Isherwood
Passively we walk through the street, we film it, we are usually passive actors into an illusionary  multi-subjective world.  We queue and integrate us into a world that is not given us any other way to be part of it. We declare everything that is inside of us, the whole world of feelings and dreams as a world of no high priority. No wonder that so many suffer from depression without realizing what is the reason for all this, right? 
"The Universe is a dream dreamed by a single dreamer where all the dream characters dream too."  - Arthur Schopenhauer
To dream not just means to close your eyes and faint away into slumber. To dream means to believe, to have faith in something. The world we have thrown in ourselves does not seem to give us much space to dream. We more and more are organic machines, needing to work precisely, without error an flaw. Everything that does not seem to fit in is stamped as weird and awkward and closed away, ignored, pressed into some dark corner with a label. We do not dare to dream, we do not want to be in that dark corner that nobody watches us anymore. We want to be part of the world, we want to share ourselves. More and more we get closer and closer to droids, to emotionless beings. You walk through the street and the faces you see are indifferent, the world is indifferent, it is all the same.... the dreams are still dreamed but they are suppressed till beyond recognition! 
Do you still dream or do you already live in the world that takes place outside of yourself, outside of your head?
"Everyone takes the limits of his own vision for the limits of the world." - Arthur Schopenhauer
Do you understand that it's very paradox? We only see with our own eyes, we only perceive with our own senses, but we are more and more expected to be like all the others. More and more we are conditioned. You are the masses, the masses are you. Otherwise your existence is not possible. Everybody is an individual that suppressed its individuality. 

"Community, Identity, Stability" - Aldous Huxley, Brave New World, Ch. 1
We sacrifice all we are for this three things that are even sometimes working against each other. What do you stand for? What is where you want to be or go? 

How about you? Do you dare to dream? 

Monday, April 9, 2012

Matter of Strategy: Identification

"The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown." -H.P. Lovecraft in "Supernatural Horror in Literature" 
We all know the truth inside this quote too well. What we do not completely know produces the greatest thrills in our veins. It is devastating and makes us procrastinate as we do not know what is true or false any more. It blurs out our power of decision making and rational distinction. It is a total stand still that can have unlimited impact to even the bravest.

To overcome that insuperable paralysis - or to avoid the possibility that it could ever occur - humanity got really inventive. We avoid the uncertain, the mysterious, the people we cannot judge or label... humanity created words and labels for every object, every creature, every plant and every group of person. What you cannot name is feared, what you don't know is strange. Critical is the view on every being that we cannot sort into a different kind of category.  Billions of things in this world are unknown by you, most of them unnoticed.

When it happens that the unknown collides with your known universe, your brains algorithm of categorizing is giving you a first impression and decision. Your instinct is quite powerful that way, most people will hang on that first impression and not change their mind about you forever or for a long, long time. Easy seems to be the mind that can compute unquestionable labelling in such a hurry.

Now, some people are mature enough to not get blinded by their instinct and to tolerate the prejudgement that is packed  inactively somewhere in their unconsciousness. Unfortunately, there is no thing as label free communities. Sooner or later the curtains will open and you will know what others thought or think of you. No matter to what you did, or how the hammer of judgement falls on you, you will be disappointed and feel hurt in most cases. Only very few rare exceptions. Why is it like that?
"It will not end, you know. Not until you acknowledge what you are." - Jonaleth Irenicus
All the defining of the world, your environment. All the labelling, names, descriptions. All the experiences, dialogues, monologues, thoughts, doings... What are they all for? They are a forming of yourself, and still you only float with the environment. You look forward, you look backward. You seldom look on the present.

And yes: you watch the environment, you watch the world. You act as an observer. All your senses categorize. Perception and sorting in/out are your major doings. That vortex of perception is your main engine that keeps you running. Unfortunately, that engine does not really have a built-in module for self-perception. All the judgement of your environment but no objective point of view on yourself.
"Say not, 'I have found the truth,' but rather, 'I have found a truth.' " -Khalil Gibran

The question is, why would you need that as you know all your intentions in your doings? Self-reflection is a hard thing to do, as you have to look out of yourself in a very objective way, and for that you need a very aware perception of your environment. That never-ending circle leads to one thing: You and your environment reflect each other. You are the environment and the environment is you. So there is a reason why you cannot satisfy everybody - they are not part of your environment.

Judgement, as you can see, plays are very important role in our life. It is judgement that keeps us alive, keeps us running, makes us feel alive. Without it, we are nothing, as we cannot reflect with the environment. We cannot live without it.... but you do not need to stay in grudge or panic: The environment would also be nothing without you. We affect each other. Life works like that. So be happy about the seat you took in life.

Prejudice is a burden that confuses the past, threatens the future and renders the present inaccessible. -Maya Angelou

Nevertheless, we have to deal with a lot of bad judgement. Prejudices, labels that do not fit on us. Word that hurt and actions that make us regret who we are. In the end, stay positive and remember: Your environment is not theirs, what is not you will never be yours. You always can take place in your own environment. Conflict is the ordinary case if incompatible environments collide.

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Never-ending Story: Existence

I have been in London for six days, my first self-managed trip abroad by plane. Used to travel in group or with at least someone, it was a completely new experience to me. An experience that really had positive effects on my confidence and maturation. I spontaneously more and more felt like to have a short get-away, so I booked my plane and my hotel and just moved away to have a rest. Even I enjoyed my stay there and really can feel the energy pumping through my veins, I more feel like writing of the thoughts and ideas I had during my stay there, while I could completely focus on myself and my thoughts.

I do not know if you ever heard about the movie "The Shining"? It first seems to be a really horrific movie... I randomly got to see it the night before I flew to the UK. Many of my thoughts during my stay were affected by that movie. While I was searching the right words what the movie is all about, my friend Farid told me it is about Existentialism and Buddhism. I suddenly remembered... Yes I know of that kind of ideas, I learned them while I was spending a lot of time with philosophy before... And I remembered who I was, I remembered who I used to be...

I realized: Yes, I forgot I existed, I was so dependent on others, that I almost forgot the most important thing - myself. During the last years of my life, I was so busy with trying to please others, that I did not understand anything any more about who I was, who I am and who I am going to be.

A good quote that seems to describe existentialism in my point of view is:
"Life... is strength. That is not to be contested; it seems logical enough. You live; you affect your world." -Jonaleth Irenicus

What does it mean? In my point of view it means: We have to take responsibility of ourselves, we are having all the potency and tools needed to build how our life will be. We all do not deny that we live... but not doing what has to be done -or let's say what we feel like what has to be done- is like being weak, giving up responsibility and our life to others or to nothing. Nobody will deny that actions have to be taken to succeed with our goals. And as some goals seem far away, we are still able to progress slowly. We have the power, and the tools.

I realized, I often seem to be stuck into the big problems. I realized, it has not to be that way, and the only reason why I am stuck into that problems is because I never began from the smallest steps to solve them. Why was I always perfect in solving problems of others? Because I always listened to the whole but gave advice which small actions have to be done next to start the solving.

That method from now on shall lead myself as well.


While I was in London, I had to deal with my own existence for the first time since a very long while... I saw, I existed, but did I really have been anything or anybody?

It somehow made me think of the song "I forgot I was alive" because I really did!

Reading and studying a lot of things had given me a lot of knowledge that I was not capable to use for myself. What a pity... but who knows my past (and I cannot publicly write it in here), knows that it was inevitable that I had forgotten who I really am. At least I was able to win a lot from 2011's decisions, and my self-confidence is now on a high level after I am back from London, my self-reflection makes me realize that I am back to life! A great experience like a reborn.

So forget the sorrows of yesterday, Om :)

Another big quote from the same guy in that field:
"I wonder if you are destined to be forgotten. Will your life fade in the shadow of greater beings?" -Jonaleth Irenicus

Think for yourself? We are even able to forget ourselves, so is supposed to think about us in the end if we do? We have to realize that we have to stand for something, our believes, our doings... always looking up to others and their doings will never bring you up as an individual, others even might not even know that you exist, and while you try to follow the top guys, you even forget your own existence...

The strange thing is, while I arrived in London, the whole feeling of overwhelmingly realizing that I am on my own and alone made me at first thought I am unwelcome and making me forget about my own existence. Now in the end I see: the progress had become the total opposite! I never was so aware of my own since a long amount of years, I do not even know if I ever really were aware of myself.

Not needing to think how to solve the problems was a great relief to find track back to myself. Too long had I been controlled, mindslaved and chained...

I hope the feeling will last, and that I can be the leader of my own life in future with my full and complete heart! =)

Special thanks and dedication to all who, strangers and non-strangers (especially my former mentioned friend Farid), who inspired me to a better kind of life, the life of myself!

PS: Oh ya... I forgot to write out about the Buddhism Idea of the Shining... next post ;)

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Matter of Strategy: Focus and Discipline

As a sensitive person that is easy to upset or to worry, it is sometimes really hard for me to keep focused. I can find so many distractions everywhere... here the main distractions that keep me away from my actual all so important work that I had to do:

- invitations to a million of events: it is always hard for me to say no, especially to all the tempting things I like to do so much. Restless I go from place to place till I start to feel I need a break. It shouldn't be my free time that is exhausting me more than my work, right?

Luckily, I finally managed to NOT take too many invitations during weekdays any more. All the leaving work earlier to be on a place on time, sleeping late at 1 am and then waking up at 7... It was enough. I learned to say no if someone asks me out to a too complicated plan on weekdays.

- family war: it is really serious, and it goes on since months, and it gets worse and worse. it is really difficult to not get emotionally attached to that kind of stuff. We are one family and we should not keep on fighting and scolding till fainting with a big headache, right?

I did not really find a solution for that beside avoiding to take my old role as the family problem solver. Ordinary, my whole family asked me about any concerns, and I were the moderator and negotiator. Sadly, I feel a bit tired of the kind of fights that are going on that even I cannot fix any more. At the moment, I better silence my voice and watch the course everything is going.

- judgement and hatred: I never really understood, what I did that causes all this, but recently it became a really growing issue. Gossip about me never seems to stop recently, and I start feeling confused sometimes who is still a friend of mine. It was really tiring to make so many thoughts about that actually.

At least I never lost my friendliness. I never judged back, and I never searched revenge. I just decided, that I have to stay away from all the negative energy that some people like to spread for a while. And I had to do a big sacrifice, of course with the hope that it will spread something good again. I meditated a lot recently to stay calm and to make the negativeness leaving myself alone. It is hard to do if others always bring on some more, but I think I am on the good path to find peace.


Thanks for reading what keeps me busy recently. As you can see, I have three big things that distract me too easily from my actual work. And the answer to all the three things seem to be:

- a rational mind: it does not help to be impulsive. In tantrums we so often think too fast, and a lot of rude stuff that annoy people. There is no emotion.
- a lot of patience: no matter how upset you are, breath calmly, think twice... the best medicine is to take a nap first. There is peace.
- awareness: have a good perception on what happens and what is necessary to do. There is no ignorance.
- react smart: after you kept your emotions behind and emptied your mind and saw what is necessary to do, do it! if there are some problems that need more information, get them. There is knowledge.
- don't panic if all seems to go wrong: on any moment possible, as you took your actions and suddenly saw that that your current doing does not work out that way, go back to step one, but do not do something futile! There is no death.
- be strong and confident: like in my former blog post, it is always very important to keep believing in yourself. you have got the power to solve everything, you can ask others for help, but in the end, it all depends on you. be proud and remember you can only succeed if you know how. There is the force.

As you see, I cited the Jedi Code, for the one and only reason: It is not telling anything wrong! In fact, it is pure helpful wisdom in dark times... even I should know better as a Sith, but I tell you next time, why the sith code is also correct =)

Cheers and sampai jumpa lagi (see you next time!)

Friday, January 27, 2012

How to survive judgement: Self-Confidence

You walk through the world, a whole grotesque paradox place. Pushed into a corner, labelled with a lot of weird different kind of names that do not even closely have a meaning for ourselves, we struggle with a society that really wants to tell us that we have to be individuals but has a stamp for every action we do?

Sooner or later you will recognize that you are grouped together to a kind of people that you do not even like! Sooner or later you will recognize that people neither appreciate the good you do and neither will ever understand what your real goal was... Sooner or later you will recognize that the time you tried to maintain your goal was wasted because so many worked against you.

Judged you stay in grudge, labelled you don't understand any more what is happening. You scratch your had, look around, feel weird.

You were friendly to others, never meant any harm, tried to make friends... but suddenly you are labelled as desperate.... All you can do is: "Why desperate? Am totally happy and I do not really have any reason to be desperate?"

You had many tasks to do, important ones, that have a big cause of your own future... you focus on them, with the long term goal to be able to full-fill your dreams... but suddenly you are labelled as a time-waster... All you can think is: "Why am I a time waster? What I did was for the good for everyone. Without succeeding on my current tasks, there is no future to believe in?"

Soon you understand, judgement will always follow you. It will always try to crush you, tear you apart, destroy you... No-one is safe. Very soon you will understand that there are a lot of judges that will make your life difficult, will make you feel struggling with a huge pile of society.

It is madness, you are chained into something against your will. Something that you not even are, something that others want to make you. You are like mud in the hand of many. Suddenly you are a formed Golem, lost, out of control... Total madness indulged by many...

Will you loose yourself in all that net of pure insanity? Or will you stay firm, being a fortress of your own will? Will reality shape  your will or will your will be shaped by the will of the others?

Nobody ever knows. Nobody can ever tall.

All that seems so clear is, if you keep on paying attention to the judgement that others give on you, you will never survive the total weird kind of pain others make you want to suffer from.

I look around. And from far and more far, I hear the echoes made up by some kind of gossip about myself. Not understanding what kind of gossip actually could be there about me after all, I listened to what they said. I really did, and thought... hmmm.... if they think like that, maybe I need to change.

I never felt so weird! Do I really have to change myself because of some gossip of some random people? Some people I never met in my whole life? That know nothing about me?

Some of my friends said, they sometimes think I try to impress the others... I thought about that words, but no... I never tried to impress anybody. To suddenly change myself to act different so that people do NOT judge me in that way... that is the real way to try to impress others. And that is totally not what I need or what I want.

It is ok to be aware what you do, or what kind of impacts your doings have on others... but please... do we really have to please everyone or follow every single kind of tiny sayings about ourselves? We have to live our lives... As long as I do not harm others with my actions, why should I follow to untrue judgement?

Nobody knows myself better than myself. So please, take me as I am or leave <3

No lies, No false games, Just the pure me.